Sunday, October 30, 2011

A completely unauthoritative roundup of songs that became anthems

This is meant to be what the title intends to convey - completely unauthoritative, personally biased and vaguely researched. It is not meant to reflect the opinions of a wide cross-section, but a very narrow clique that thoroughly abhors the masses and the opinions of the masses.

Over a period of time there have been several songs that the aforementioned clique saw being transformed from messy, lurid and suggestively raunchy numbers into anthems that defined the collective taste (or in some cases, the complete lack of any thereof) of the, also aforementioned, masses. Needless to say, but I still say it, - it is largely based on experiences accumulated over four years in an engineering college (though some of it comes from life outside of college as well).

The earliest I can remember are the Govinda-Karisma numbers that were centered around mundane plots like spice-levels in food, handkerchiefs being sexy and rural cots. The fact that beyond the controversy some stirred up ('sexy' was considered too forward and replaced with 'baby' for quite sometime), these probably exist mostly as a blur of lurid colors and jerky-synchronized pelvic thrusts. Govinda, despite all his comic-timing and talent for the inane, did not particularly fit well into the role of the turned-on-male half of the songs. It would be charitable to just say that Karisma was a Chinese-made Barbie doll ripoff dressed in outfits made out of fantasy musical backdrops from the thirties.

Though strictly not in the item number category, Juhi Chawla was one of the other women I wanted to marry. She possessed that bubbly charm of the girl next-door that was quite exhaustively extracted by directors and story writers in no small measure. You'd always wish that she lived in the house next-door and you'd be in a song sequence each time you saw her in the hallway. The ones that remain firmly etched in memory are songs like 'Ghoonghat ki aad' from 'Hum hain rahi pyaar ke', songs from 'Darr' and, surprisingly, 'Mere mehboob mere sanam' from the highly forgettable movie 'Duplicate'. I must make a little digression into this particular song - my personal smoking combination of two contrasting women - Sonali Bendre as the smoking hot girl that you chase interminably, and Juhi Chawla as the sweet docile girl with just the right amount of naughtiness that you'd want to marry. For some reason, I still listen to this particular song. Juhi also starred in a series of cult numbers in movies like 'Mr. & Mrs. Aflatoon', 'Yes Boss' and 'Ishq' to name a few.

What sticks out in this era in my memory is Madhuri Dixit. The woman exuded oomph and more oomph in every possible way. Somehow images of Madhuri in cult numbers like 'Dhak dhak karne laga', 'Choli ke peeche kya hai' (Duh...?) and 'Ek do teen' rarely fail to evoke memories of early crushes on the lady. Images of the highly sensuous dance sequence are most often spoiled by the appearance of Anil Kapoor's thick mustache - a facial embellishment that so defined him, that I was very surprised that Sonam did not sport one. It is still very hard for me to not attach that bushy swatch on the upper to Sonam.

A relatively unknown one was this song called 'Channe ke kheth' from the movie 'Anjaam' - one of the few movies where King Khan was the bad guy and did not hold out his arms open in the Alps. It also forms part of my goriest recollections of Bollywood movie moments where Madhuri bites off Tinoo Anand's ear. I have a theory that this was Tyson's inspiration for his epic attack on Holyfield that happened three years hence, in 1997.

In any case, Madhuri was one of those actress that an entire teenage and not-so-teenage generation fell in love with and possibly continues to be in love with. The fact that she is now married and has a very gratingly irritating American accent still does not take away from her charm. I, for one, till the time she got married, harbored faint hopes that I'd marry her one day. Sadly, I never got my break in Bollywood.

...to be continued

Monday, October 24, 2011

Personal blogs and newspaper articles

This article happened to pop-up on my feed on Facebook.

There might be millions of reasons to move back to the United States, but these reasons that the writer provides shows what he lacks more than what life in India lacks - namely, a 'pair'. Halfway through it switches from problems to his complete inability to cope with them, and that is what cheeses me off (more on this later). We are all guilty of one or more of those reactions - just as the writer was before he first moved to the US. The result of sensitization to such issues should ideally result in tackling them and attempting to sensitize others.

Each of his problems are centered around situations that software-professionals in India would not encounter in the Western world. Domestic help is almost unheard of, unless you are willing to part with half your salary. As is a driver. Here is an article that I googled - about $30,000 a year. While this article pegs the average salary of the software-professional at $90,000 - about three-times more than that of domestic help. In India, that number would be closer to maybe six- or seven- times.

There is a hell of a lot of 'redneck', 'black' and 'Hispanic' jokes in the US. 'Oh, so which part of town do you stay in' is most often an oblique enquiry into your 'social caste'. Oh, and you probably can't afford a maid, so there's no point of getting into 'how to keep her in her place'.

Po-ta-to or Po-tay-toe. Either way, it's still carbs.

Coming back to what cheeses me off - why is something that should be on a personal blog show up on the New York Times international pages. Is one man's personal tryst being unable to stop himself from being 'de-humanizing' and giving up worth the space and the attention? Is his shortcomings of being unable to be forgiving and tolerant and patient the best way to emphasize the Indian mentality?

Honestly, I'd love to write a piece on how it is uneconomical, non-eco-friendly and plain silly to use paper to clean up and watch a major Indian paper lap it up. Or a piece of how plunging necklines and rising hemlines in summers makes it quite impossible for the average Indian software-engineer to wear loose bottom-half clothing. Or the insanely irritating habit of randomly smiling and saying hello to complete strangers on the street. But, then again, that is what most of TOI seems to be anyway...sigh!

PS: The water is too cold in winter is not a valid excuse. In Europe everyone seems to have access to running hot-water (scalding even).