Illusions

Bangalore has a lot of people who have illusions about what they are. Take for instance, the auto drivers, who, think they are pilots flying the Eurofighter Typhoon at Aero India or in a dogfight(which is more likely given the number of stray dogs). The Typhoon has this awesome ability to level out, and then kind of free fall slowly while turning at the same time. The trick that the pilots usually do is go into a steep climb, level out at the top, almost stop moving forward, float down gently turning left and then all of a sudden turn right and blast off at breakneck speed. The auto-driver does this on all the steep roads while looking for savari or trying to escape a mama's maamool-hungry sights.

And then there are the bus drivers who, almost fanatically, believe that buses are in reality intergalactic transporters that have the ability to pass through any solid object. This, of course, gets turned on by incessantly honking. They subscribe to the theory that JK Rowling's Knight Bus from the Harry Potter, with it's fantastic power to make whole buildings and lamposts jump out of it's way, was infact inspired when she visited Bangalore and took the 201 from HAL airport to Banashankari. The beds and the chocolate were nothing but frivolous additions to a perfectly practical way of transportation.

Have you ever wondered why the white Sumos and the Indicas honk constantly even on an empty road, overtake other drivers on the left and jump signals? If you have, then very obviously you haven't ever undertaken the task of ferrying people while suffering from a constant case of dysentery. And most definitely, you have not done it while wearing a white (well...once-upon-a-time white) uniform.