After a very very long night of work yesterday that stretched into the wee hours of the morning today, the lack of sleep made me a little grumpy. I just refused to put semi-colons at the end of statements.
And then this mail dropped into my inbox. I've been laughing for the past ten minutes non-stop. Yes...I am sure all the third-standard kids here who write software, Verilog and design PCBs will miss it.
Dear All,
We wish to bring to your kind attention that we have received an intimation
from Glaxosmithkline that with immediate effect they will withdraw
from their vending business services.
With reference to this, in future we will not be able to provide Horlicks &
boost.
We regret for the inconvenience.
Regards,
Hospitality Team
Friday, February 22, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
This and lots of that.
Now a dear and mostly unwashed friend of mine has taken to using me as a whipping boy for populating his blog here. The conversation, I assure you, did not take place, though if it did, it would have pretty much been along the same lines. I suggest you take a look at the comments sections there for a more accurate version of the probable conversation.
And since we still stuck on the topic of V-Day, here is a little observation that I've made. Read this now to figure out what comes next. There is a mention of a woman in this post somewhere near the bottom.
Here's the twist - February 10th, I see this woman on the bus and her hands and fingers are empty and untouched as yet. February 15th - there's a thin shining gold band on the fourth finger of the left hand. You do the math now.
I sure the lucky bum in question loves Himmesh and thinks that Strings is the best band ever. He also affirms that Megadeth is a misspelling of the phrase 'Mga Dth' which is what he messages his buddies and her when he gets humped in an exam.
He is rumored to have asked during his Unix lab why there was no 'C:\>' at the prompt but something like 'guest@localhost.localdomain' or 'bash-2.05#'. It irked him to no end that there was no Windows Explorer and 'dir' did not work at command prompt.
He wonders why William Makepeace Thackeray, about whom some of his 'nerdy' friends talked about, did not come to Raj's rescue.
His abiding dream is to appear one day on Indian Idol or India's hottest. His biggest crib against Coffee Day is that they serve cretin on their menu. Why should anybody want to eat an overpriced rat or a mousse, he demands of the waiter. And that too, from Belgium, which he thinks is not even a country.
'Welcome' and 'Jab we met' make his heart sing for joy. But wait, he has heard of Pink Floyd and Metallica, because all his irritating guitar-totting friends are passionate about it. Five-point someone was awesome but One night @ the call centre was a spritual experience. He dreams that one day he too shall have such a story to write about. After getting placed in XYZ BPO and Support Services - the best job on his campus.
And then, legends have been told of his Orkut About Me. The fact that it had absolutely no vowels was a minor technicality. Ambiguous statements like 'Cnt c' could be mis-interpreted for something politically incorrect and indecent never crossed his mind. 'Vowels are for wimps' is a maxim he lives by.
His favorite topic of conversation with friends is about the lastest offers that Vodafone/Airtel has. Next in list is, of course, a critical comparison of all the 125-cc bikes on the market. DKNY, AIX (oh, yes... it is not A|X or Armani Exchange) and DJ&C are labels he swears by. Dolce and Gabbana is probably the cheesiest imitation of DJ&C - must've been made in Ulhasnagar or something.
Beep...Beep
It's her phone. An SMS. Mind you, it is an SMS not a message.
"I luv u so mch. C u n clg. Mss'n u"
Sigh...I don't think that cozy conversation about Before Sunrise and Before Sunset is ever going to happen.
P.S : That, in retrospect, sounds like a highly loser racist rant. But, heck, it was fun writing it.
And since we still stuck on the topic of V-Day, here is a little observation that I've made. Read this now to figure out what comes next. There is a mention of a woman in this post somewhere near the bottom.
Here's the twist - February 10th, I see this woman on the bus and her hands and fingers are empty and untouched as yet. February 15th - there's a thin shining gold band on the fourth finger of the left hand. You do the math now.
I sure the lucky bum in question loves Himmesh and thinks that Strings is the best band ever. He also affirms that Megadeth is a misspelling of the phrase 'Mga Dth' which is what he messages his buddies and her when he gets humped in an exam.
He is rumored to have asked during his Unix lab why there was no 'C:\>' at the prompt but something like 'guest@localhost.localdomain' or 'bash-2.05#'. It irked him to no end that there was no Windows Explorer and 'dir' did not work at command prompt.
He wonders why William Makepeace Thackeray, about whom some of his 'nerdy' friends talked about, did not come to Raj's rescue.
His abiding dream is to appear one day on Indian Idol or India's hottest. His biggest crib against Coffee Day is that they serve cretin on their menu. Why should anybody want to eat an overpriced rat or a mousse, he demands of the waiter. And that too, from Belgium, which he thinks is not even a country.
'Welcome' and 'Jab we met' make his heart sing for joy. But wait, he has heard of Pink Floyd and Metallica, because all his irritating guitar-totting friends are passionate about it. Five-point someone was awesome but One night @ the call centre was a spritual experience. He dreams that one day he too shall have such a story to write about. After getting placed in XYZ BPO and Support Services - the best job on his campus.
And then, legends have been told of his Orkut About Me. The fact that it had absolutely no vowels was a minor technicality. Ambiguous statements like 'Cnt c' could be mis-interpreted for something politically incorrect and indecent never crossed his mind. 'Vowels are for wimps' is a maxim he lives by.
His favorite topic of conversation with friends is about the lastest offers that Vodafone/Airtel has. Next in list is, of course, a critical comparison of all the 125-cc bikes on the market. DKNY, AIX (oh, yes... it is not A|X or Armani Exchange) and DJ&C are labels he swears by. Dolce and Gabbana is probably the cheesiest imitation of DJ&C - must've been made in Ulhasnagar or something.
Beep...Beep
It's her phone. An SMS. Mind you, it is an SMS not a message.
"I luv u so mch. C u n clg. Mss'n u"
Sigh...I don't think that cozy conversation about Before Sunrise and Before Sunset is ever going to happen.
P.S : That, in retrospect, sounds like a highly loser racist rant. But, heck, it was fun writing it.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Old habits die hard
For those of you who have never read my older blogs, this should be somewhat new. I am, of course, hoping that I haven't pulled a stunt like this on this one. But, then again, my memory has always been selective. And for those of you who have read my older blog(God save you..!), this should make you feel right at home. You know that warm mushy feeling that you get in the corner of your heart???
What's the point of it all?
Every year, for the past god-knows-how-many years, Valentine's day comes and goes by and it doesn't make a single difference to me. The week leading up to the day is always the same - is this it? And then, D-Day minus two onwards it becomes progressively clear that it is not this that that 'it is this'. It's just another one of 'those'. It's not that I hate the whole concept, but it is just that I hate the concept of me having to go through it year after year. If there is a glimmer of hope it is shot to hell by either another (or rather the actual) boyfriend or a ring on the fourth finger of the left hand.
I guess it is going to be the same this year too...
22 years and still going strong
What's the point of it all?
Every year, for the past god-knows-how-many years, Valentine's day comes and goes by and it doesn't make a single difference to me. The week leading up to the day is always the same - is this it? And then, D-Day minus two onwards it becomes progressively clear that it is not this that that 'it is this'. It's just another one of 'those'. It's not that I hate the whole concept, but it is just that I hate the concept of me having to go through it year after year. If there is a glimmer of hope it is shot to hell by either another (or rather the actual) boyfriend or a ring on the fourth finger of the left hand.
I guess it is going to be the same this year too...
22 years and still going strong
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
How I wish..
This is one of the sweetest ads I've seen in a long time. I just wish it were as simple for me now to impress a pretty girl like the way this kid does it...
If only...
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Week
Monday
Shit! Shit! Shit! The week stretches endlessy in front of you.
Tuesday
Resign to the fact that you have no other choice.
Wednesday
Crib and bitch but get on with it.
Thursday
There may be hope after all.
Friday
You see a glimmer of light in the distance
Saturday
Dammit...! Finally you are the end of it all.
Sunday
Whoohoo! It so bright and sunny...or maybe I am just hungover from yesterday night.
Sunday [night]
Screw it all! The light at the end of the tunnel was the headlight of yet another week that is going to run you over. Damn...damn...damn!!!
Shit! Shit! Shit! The week stretches endlessy in front of you.
Tuesday
Resign to the fact that you have no other choice.
Wednesday
Crib and bitch but get on with it.
Thursday
There may be hope after all.
Friday
You see a glimmer of light in the distance
Saturday
Dammit...! Finally you are the end of it all.
Sunday
Whoohoo! It so bright and sunny...or maybe I am just hungover from yesterday night.
Sunday [night]
Screw it all! The light at the end of the tunnel was the headlight of yet another week that is going to run you over. Damn...damn...damn!!!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
That's me in the spotlight... well.. almost
Clickhere for my first onstage performance. I am one in the middle trying to look cool. Sadly enough it did not work. There was no crowd willing to let me crowd surf. It was awesome fun though...!
P.S: Gracias, sundar!
P.S: Gracias, sundar!
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Monday, December 24, 2007
So...that's that.
It's been ages since I wrote anything that did not end with a semi-colon. Excepting, of course, the e-mails that were follow-ups to things that ended with a semi-colon.
Life has been pretty mundane and normal - not something that goes down well with me, but then most of us don't have a choice. If we had our way we would probably want something radically different from what our respective lives are at the moment. I for one would like to have lots of fast cars, fancy sleek laptops (both the electronic variety and the other) and cocktails at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then again, I am not James Bond or Vijay Mallaya. And, Mallaya has an airline and a yatch to boot.
Somethings are scary. And sometimes they screw up the head. I was at this party drinking beer and thinking about bootloaders and memory management looking and feeling totally lost and at home, like I normally do at any party. Then suddenly this cute woman whom I have been seeing walk in and out of my field of vision come to me.
[Afraid]
After getting done with the usual introductions and pointless things she proceeds to park herself next to me. By which time the people hanging around have vanished. At this point, I would like to make a point which is I don't know to handle women. Especially ones that are tipsy. Very tipsy. It was as this instant, I would at least like to believe, that a couple of nice ideas in my heads about how to optimize memory accesses and improve computing were forever lost to mankind.
[Scared]
" ______ has left you all alone and wandered off, eh?"
"Umm...yeah! But, that is normal. He does that very often but I am used to it."
"He is so frustrating. I just can't understand him! Argh...!"
"Umm... yeah. I write code for a living. I know how it feels."
That line did not have the required effect. The required effect being the are-you-completely-mad-or-hard-of-hearing-look.
"I dated him until last week. It was so frustrating..."
[Minor heart attack]
And she starts to sniffle and then cry. Now, mind you, I can't stand crying women. They are like Fermat's Last theorem - it is believed that a proof existed but it took a really clever guy to come up with a 200 page proof to actually prove it. And even then, someone found a couple of mistakes in it.
The enterprising and clever witted fellow that I am, I had a line for the occasion. Bang out of Pulp Fiction.
"It's ok. You can't really help it. Shit happens!"
She said something else which I didn't really catch, but it is something that I don't think was very nice. And then she went to get another beer for herself.
Now, this woman is really cute, intelligent and will be an investment banker someday. As they say, a bomb. I would have asked her out if I was someone else and wasn't furiously hunting for my little nitro-glycerine tablets.
My cousin, when I told her, thinks that I should have risen to the occasion and offered a shoulder to cry on. Been a gentleman and prised away the beer from her. Offered her comforting words and all. At least offered her a tissue. I was a fool, she said from her apartment in the USA. But in my defence, they did not teach me all this in college.
"When things go the way you want in Linux you kill the processes and start all over again. If you are using Windows, " my professor gave an evil laugh, " you are pretty much dead. You should switch off and switch on your machine and pray to God that you won't have to reformat and re-install Windows."
P.S: I am waiting for my electric mandolin. In a couple of weeks.
Life has been pretty mundane and normal - not something that goes down well with me, but then most of us don't have a choice. If we had our way we would probably want something radically different from what our respective lives are at the moment. I for one would like to have lots of fast cars, fancy sleek laptops (both the electronic variety and the other) and cocktails at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then again, I am not James Bond or Vijay Mallaya. And, Mallaya has an airline and a yatch to boot.
Somethings are scary. And sometimes they screw up the head. I was at this party drinking beer and thinking about bootloaders and memory management looking and feeling totally lost and at home, like I normally do at any party. Then suddenly this cute woman whom I have been seeing walk in and out of my field of vision come to me.
[Afraid]
After getting done with the usual introductions and pointless things she proceeds to park herself next to me. By which time the people hanging around have vanished. At this point, I would like to make a point which is I don't know to handle women. Especially ones that are tipsy. Very tipsy. It was as this instant, I would at least like to believe, that a couple of nice ideas in my heads about how to optimize memory accesses and improve computing were forever lost to mankind.
[Scared]
" ______ has left you all alone and wandered off, eh?"
"Umm...yeah! But, that is normal. He does that very often but I am used to it."
"He is so frustrating. I just can't understand him! Argh...!"
"Umm... yeah. I write code for a living. I know how it feels."
That line did not have the required effect. The required effect being the are-you-completely-mad-or-hard-of-hearing-look.
"I dated him until last week. It was so frustrating..."
[Minor heart attack]
And she starts to sniffle and then cry. Now, mind you, I can't stand crying women. They are like Fermat's Last theorem - it is believed that a proof existed but it took a really clever guy to come up with a 200 page proof to actually prove it. And even then, someone found a couple of mistakes in it.
The enterprising and clever witted fellow that I am, I had a line for the occasion. Bang out of Pulp Fiction.
"It's ok. You can't really help it. Shit happens!"
She said something else which I didn't really catch, but it is something that I don't think was very nice. And then she went to get another beer for herself.
Now, this woman is really cute, intelligent and will be an investment banker someday. As they say, a bomb. I would have asked her out if I was someone else and wasn't furiously hunting for my little nitro-glycerine tablets.
My cousin, when I told her, thinks that I should have risen to the occasion and offered a shoulder to cry on. Been a gentleman and prised away the beer from her. Offered her comforting words and all. At least offered her a tissue. I was a fool, she said from her apartment in the USA. But in my defence, they did not teach me all this in college.
"When things go the way you want in Linux you kill the processes and start all over again. If you are using Windows, " my professor gave an evil laugh, " you are pretty much dead. You should switch off and switch on your machine and pray to God that you won't have to reformat and re-install Windows."
P.S: I am waiting for my electric mandolin. In a couple of weeks.
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